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Respect Has Gone Down the Toilet. And I’m not Talking About the Kids. 

11/4/2013

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You know, I find it very interesting when I hear “adults” complain about teenagers today.

“They think everything is about them!”

“They don’t know the meaning of working hard!”

“They are so disrespectful!”


I call BS! And if this is your attitude about the next generation, then perhaps you should take a look in the mirror. Let me explain.

I attended an honors chorus concert this weekend that included more than 500 middle and high school students from 25 different schools from throughout the state of Georgia. I couldn’t have been more impressed and prouder of all of those kids. To get to that level of performance not only takes self-discipline, but it requires they have respect for the conductor, fellow student participants, and the music itself.  The discipline and focus it took for these kids to prepare for this concert was apparent in how they performed on stage. Unfortunately, that same sense of self-discipline and respect was sorely lacking in the audience. I was absolutely appalled at how the “adults” in the audience behaved. As a matter of fact, it pissed me off so much that I felt it necessary to rant a bit and to remind all of you parents, family members, and family friends out there who attend these events that YOUR behavior does matter. Not only am I taking note, but so are the kids.

This brings me back to the three complaints listed above. I can’t help but to wonder, for those of you who have this terribly negative attitude about teenagers, what kind of role model have YOU been? From what I witnessed this past weekend, I’m willing to bet not a very good one. Here are the top 5 behaviors to display at any event to show the world (at least the other audience members as well as your kids) that you are a self-centered, disrespectful douche. And when you make the complaints as listed above about these “kids today,” it’s really more of a reflection about your shortcomings than theirs.

1.     You talk during the songs. And I’m not talking about someone quickly mentioning, “They sound so good!” or “That’s beautiful!” No, I’m talking about those of you who seem hell-bent on having a full conversation THROUGHOUT the whole damn concert. And for those of you who will lie to yourselves and each other by saying, “but I only whisper, so nobody can hear me,” YOU ARE THE WORST CULPRITS! How about this notion? KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT COMPLETELY. I had a group sitting directly behind me during the concert and I swear I’m not exaggerating when I say they talked through the whole concert. Finally, I turned around between songs and said, “Do you think you could possibly talk a little less during this next song please?” [insert sarcasm]. One woman actually had the audacity to look at me as if I were the one being rude. Let me give you a piece of advice people, if whatever it is that you’re talking about is really that important, take it outside. You can focus on your conversation and we can focus on the concert. Problem solved for everyone.

2.     You constantly make noise. You need to retrieve something from your purse? Wait until the applause. You want to read the next page of your program/book/newspaper and need to turn the page? Wait until the applause. You need to remove those keys from your pocket? Wait until the applause. You need to get up and go to the bathroom? Wait until the applause. You need to get back to your seat? Wait until the applause. Unless you are completely thick, you should see a trend here. Wait until the applause because that’s when the noise you are creating will be drowned out by the noise of the applause. Imagine that. You could set the example and actually be courteous! Unfortunately, the people behind me (again) were guilty of this very same behavior also. One lady must’ve borrowed Mary Poppins’ bottomless bag because I heard zipping and unzipping noises the entire time. Moreover, I got so irritated at listening to the crinkling sounds of paper that during one song I had to turn around to see for myself if she weren't actually reading the newspaper. I’m glad to report that it was not a newspaper, but it was the program. She was actually folding it and refolding it constantly throughout the concert. Perhaps she was bored. I don’t know. I just made eye contact and shook my head at her and turned back. Much like I might do to a small child who is misbehaving. I could practically feel the daggers digging into my back at this point.  But hey, if your ADHD is acting up that badly, then lady, don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out okay? Go run a lap or something.

3.     You don’t check your body odor. You’re going to be sitting right next to strangers in a small, enclosed area, yet you don’t think about this? Are you not mindful of personal hygiene? Okay, so the ladies sitting behind me were making noises throughout the concert, but the man who was there with them was equally as distracting. He wasn't making noise pollution but he sure as hell was making a lot of air pollution. The smell of smoke was so thick I would have actually sprayed him with Lysol if I had any in my purse. Don’t get me wrong. This is not an anti-smoking rant. If you want to light up the cancer-sticks, be my guest. The world is too over-populated anyway in my humble opinion and who am I to prevent you from doing your part in helping solve the overpopulation problem? No, I just don’t want to be forced to constantly inhale fumes that are emanating from your being, with a smell so thick it makes me feel like I just licked the inside of an old, stale ashtray. But I can’t just make this rant about the smokers. That would be unfair. I pick on everyone equally. For those of you who like to put on enough cologne or perfume or body spray to fill up the auditorium with your smell, not everyone has the same appreciation for those notes as you. Just remember, too much of anything, is well, too much.

The sad part is these types of disrespectful and self-centered behaviors were not just limited to the ignorant family behind me. These things were going on in pockets of the audience all around me! I could see the pissed-off looks of those who were equally as irritated as I was, so I was not imagining these absurd actions. But wait, there’s more!

4.     Your baby is crying. And crying. And crying some more. Um, in case you didn't (or couldn't) hear the guy on the stage say this at the beginning, and in the middle of, and toward the end of the concert, here’s yet another reminder. If your baby is crying, take him or her OUT of the auditorium please. This doesn't mean walk up and down the aisles or along the walls to try to coo said child. This actually means take him or her OUT of the auditorium. Trust me, I love babies as much as, or perhaps even more than most other people. However, I also know that babies don’t care where you are, who you’re with, or about the occasion. When they are pissed, they are pissed and the world is going to hear about it. If you’re afraid of missing the concert, have someone record it for you. For goodness sake  they even announced that the concert was being professionally recorded, so you can part ways with the $20 and buy the damn CD. Hell, I’ll buy it for you if it will get you and that screaming kid out of the auditorium. But since you refused to leave, not only do I get to listen to your child cry throughout the concert “live,” but I get the joy of listening to your child cry on the recording as well. Oh goodie.

5.     You update your status every two minutes. Okay, so you put your phone on silent or vibrate so we can’t hear your phone make noise or hear you texting away, but that doesn't mean we can’t see it – especially when your screen is so bright it very well might induce an epileptic seizure in another audience member. Um, can you not do that? Please? What’s the urgency? Can your friends and family not wait until the end of the concert to see all of the pics at once? Do you honestly think that the masses are monitoring your updates like it’s the Superbowl? My guess is most likely not. Believe me, I’m proud of these kids also. As a matter of fact, both of mine were performing, so I understand the need to document. But have you thought about while you’re busy texting and updating, you’re missing out on the here and now? Besides, you see those kids on the stage? How about giving them your attention and save the updates for the end. Trust me, those who are not here can wait.

These kids worked their butts off to put on this concert. To give you an idea of how hard these kids worked, imagine learning and practicing four to five songs (most in a different language) that you have to perform in front of an audience in less than two days. They accomplished this by rehearsing for 10 hours (10 hours!) on Friday and several more hours on Saturday before the concert that afternoon. These hours don’t include the getting up early to catch the bus, drive time, warm-ups, lunch breaks, etc. When you add up everything, these kids put in a good 20-hour work schedule in a matter of two days. The LEAST we can do is give them our undivided attention.

So the next time you attend an event, whether it be a band concert, a chorus concert, a musical, or a play, and you find yourself doing any of the 5 actions above, then remember the statements. They are exactly what those kids will think of you.  

“They think everything is about them!”

“They don’t know the meaning of working hard!”

“They are so disrespectful!”


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    Jennifer Furlong

    Jennifer Furlong has 25 years’ experience in the communication field and teaches communication and public speaking courses in the Savannah area. She earned a B.A. and M.A. in Communication from George Mason University in Fairfax, Va. She currently resides in Richmond Hill, Ga. with her family of canines, felines, and humans. Let's be social! Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, Tumblr, and Twitter. Just look for Professor SpeechLady. See you in cyberspace.


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